… I don’t know why. All I know is I woke up feeling like I’ll never amount to anything. That I’ll never catch up on my bills. That I’ll forever be crushed with debt and regret and every other terrible feeling of inadequacy that a person could have.
I don’t even know if I’m happy or just chugging along. Filling my life with tasks to pass the time and if I don’t, I’ll run screaming into the ocean from boredom or… Something else.
…is that even normal?
And sometimes I wonder if what I’m doing is worth it. Is it worth the pressure of success? Is it worth people telling you that you’re wrong and wanting to see you fail?
I want to see so much and do so much but half the time I feel like I’m wandering alone in a fog reaching for something that seems like it’s a million miles away.
…I don’t know. I just don’t know.